Madwoman Out of the Attic

a feminist trudging forward in a patriarchal world

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Romantic moment


Mike and I right before we got engaged six years ago. We are sitting on the steps of a lighthouse in Connecticut.

It was rather a strange time in our relationship. We knew we were going to get married the upcoming summer. I had even had my mom book the reception hall. We just hadn't gone through the formal proposal situation yet. (My mom wanted to have a private "conversation" with Mike before the official engagement announcement. I hid in the kitchen and eavesdropped for a while until the whole thing just became too humiliating.) Why my mom wanted to go through that, I'm not sure. Probably some remnant of the old fashioned idea that a man should ask for the daughter's hand in marriage. As a feminist, I had absolutely forbidden Mike to do that. I'm not a piece of meat! I can make my own decisions, thank you very much. Therefore, his job was to inform my mom about our intention, not ask permission. The conversation sounded pretty damn awkward to me.

But at least this gave mom a chance to hand over her wedding ring to Mike, so that he could formally propose. Mom was so nice to give us her ring! She had been widowed over two decades and hadn't worn it as a wedding ring for several years. And as a grad student, Mike was completely broke and could never have afforded anything. What a windfall for us!

4 Comments:

Anonymous MT said...

Caroline, That is a cool picture. You referred to the moment as romantic, but what do you consider the most romantic pre-engagement moment of the courtship?

8/07/2005 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Caroline said...

Well, sweetums, you know what I'll say :) It was when you confessed that you were in love with me on the phone. And I was so freaked out and excited that I was seriously shaking for an hour after that. Even called my prof and told her I wouldn't be making it to class that day since I was so out of it. Ahh, those were the days...

8/08/2005 10:55 AM  
Anonymous MT said...

You weren't supposed to reveal that I was MT. Now I have to come up with a new moniker!

8/08/2005 2:22 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

oops. mea culpa. :)

8/08/2005 9:33 PM  

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