Madwoman Out of the Attic

a feminist trudging forward in a patriarchal world

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Boy Child On Its Way

I found out yesterday that we're having a boy. I'm slightly bummed since I had convinced myself it was going to be a girl (wishful thinking). But the little guy looks healthy, so that's fantastic. I'm sure I'll be thrilled with him and adore him when he comes.

This does, however, put the pressure on me next time I get pregnant. Since I really don't plan to have more than two kids, that will probably be my last chance for a girl. I haven't quite figured out why I so strongly want to have a daughter, but I think it might have a lot to do with books. As a parent, I have a strong desire to share with my daughter the books (with strong female characters) that I loved growing up. Reading was a huge part of my childhood. I suppose I can try to share those books with my son, but I'm afraid they won't be as interesting to him. I also am not really in to some of the stereotypical boy things: trucks, trains, loud noises, sports, etc. Though, when I think about it, I'm not in to some stereotypical girl things either: princess stuff, frilly stuff, dolls, cheerleading, etc.

I really had visions of raising up my daughter to be a powerful, intelligent, ethical feminist woman. But now that the boy child is on its way, I will try to adjust my vision to something that is no less imortant or noble: raising up my son to be a powerful, intelligent, ethical feminist man.


Blogger John said...

Amen! I hope you fulfill your vision.

But I hope you'll accept him even if he turns out to be powerful, intelligent, ethical and not a self-proclaimed feminist (perhaps like Mike?).

I've heard a lot about the strength of the Mother-Son bond. I wonder how that dynamic will work in your family?

I'm not sure how this will relate to your situation, but I struggle sometimes because my daughter and I have a much more emotionally intimate relationship than I have with my son (something I'm consciously trying to balance right now).

3/12/2006 8:32 PM  
Blogger jana said...

Congrats Caroline. Love the pictures...he looks just like you (except for the part marked BOY)

3/13/2006 8:02 PM  
Blogger amelia said...

yay! (if it had been a girl it would have been: YAY!; i admit: i'm biased) boys are fun. lots of fun. i love all my beautiful little nephews. and i'm sure you and mike will raise a wonderful son aware of his world with all of its problems and beauties and goodness.

3/15/2006 8:54 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Hey John,
I'm sure I will accept him even if he's not a self-proclaimed feminist :) The chance of him being one is pretty slight anyway what with Mike being the dad.

I hope that mother son bond thing is true. But I still can't imagine having a closer relationship with a son than with a daughter. I guess that's just because the vast majority of intimate relationships I have had are with women.

Why do you think that you and C aren't as close emotionally? Does he just not open up as much as E? Maybe it's also a function of age since he's so near adolescence.

Thanks Amy and Jana.

3/17/2006 11:04 PM  
Blogger Tri Mama said...

I had initial fear over having both of my sons, but it has been the most amazing experience for me. They have taught me so much about myself and about boys/men. We are reading the little prince together right now, so have no fear because boys can love books as well. He will learn to respect women because of your strong example as an "ethical feminist woman."

5/01/2006 8:54 AM  

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